strength. love. joy.

It's my favorite season and we are now approaching the end of my favorite month. There are 2 more months left in this decade (wow!) and I'm feeling renewed and focused.

I just celebrated my 32nd birthday, and I always like to reflect on lessons learned and new things I've learned about myself this time of year.

Black Women are incredibly strong and connected.

Over the past two years my periods were becoming increasingly painful and heavy. I figured it was normal with my age or the birth control I was taking. It got to the point where I just couldn’t take the pain anymore and I was so embarrassed to even talk about how many tampons I was soaking through.  After an ultrasound, I soon found out I had a fibroid. It wasn’t very big in size, but it was recommended that I get it removed. About 80 percent of black women will develop fibroids over their lifetime and are 2-3 times more likely to develop fibroids relative to white women. A million thoughts ran through my head including - would I still be able to have kids? Although this type of surgery, a hysteroscopic myomectomy, is pretty common I was still very worried. I talked with my mom about it and turns out she also had fibroids, but she didn’t have to get them removed. I finally talked to my friends about it and turns out a few other friends had also experienced issues with fibroids. Why are we so silent about our pain? As Black women we are connected in so many ways; we have to support each other and stop suffering in silence. Earlier this year, I proceeded with the surgery, which was minimally invasive, and I had a quick recovery. My periods started to get better after that. I’ve learned that you should never be afraid to tell your story, and vulnerability will set you free. The strength and endurance of Black women is unbelievable. Nothing can hold us down. We have the power to overcome anything that comes our way, and we don’t have to do it alone.

You will love again.

“Friends say you getting thick that’s just happy weight.” -Fabolous

Falling in love is such a roller coaster, and I never thought I would be crazy enough to fall in love again. I enjoy my space and my “me time.”  (Yes - I’m an introvert!) And honestly I was just tired of wasting my time with dating apps and no-good men. The thought of being vulnerable again with someone new was the furthest thing from my mind. But it’s been a little over a year now that I took a chance on love. Me and bae are still going strong! I’m happy, I’m at peace, and I even gained a little happy weight. #thickthighssavelives I’m in a place of comfort where I still have the space to grow and evolve, and still be myself. I actually like having him in my space. LOL! It feels amazing to be in a healthy relationship and loved unconditionally in spite of my flaws. I’m so excited to be on this journey with someone I can truly trust and have fun with.

If you’re doubting you will love again remember that you are worthy and deserve to be loved and Queen Maya Angelou said it best:

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

— Maya Angelou

It’s ok to feel joy. 

I mean REALLY bask in joy. 

According to Brene Brown, one of my favorite writers, “…the most vulnerable thing a human being can feel, according to research, isn't negative. It's arguably the most positive emotion you can feel: joy.”

This is surprisingly true. Sometimes when something really good happens in my life, I immediately feel the fragility of it and start thinking of worse-case scenarios. What if something bad happens?  One way I try to combat these feelings is to practice gratitude daily. I just received two new journals, which have been helpful in writing down things that I’m grateful for.  Life is too short to worry about the what-ifs. I want to fully experience joy and live every moment to the fullest.

So how are you feeling?

Are you on track to finish the year strong and accomplish your goals? There's still time left. It's never too late to start something new. Reach out for support if you need it. Let's challenge each other to finish what we've started and to savor every moment.

You ready?

2018 just pulled up on us like “I’m outside. You ready?” The year flew by! 2017 was a year of celebration: birthdays, babies, love, growth, friendship, sisterhood, new businesses, travel, self-care; anything I could toast to, I was there. In 2018 I want to continue celebrating and I want this to be the year of as Nene says best, “I said what I said.”  Say what you want, do what you feel—unapologetically. Here are a few lessons learned that I’ll take with me into 2018. What have you learned? 

Advocate for yourself.   

If you don’t, then who will? Apply for that job, negotiate your salary, start the business you’ve been dreaming of, buy those shoes, and tell YOUR story.  With everything that's been happening this past year in the news, I've learned that our voices matter, and we deserve to be heard and respected.  Sharing your story can help empower someone else to share theirs. 

Seek help.

Let's face it we can’t be superwoman 24/7. As much as we try to do it all, we still have our shortcomings. And that’s OK. The world won’t end if we take a break or ask for help. Find resources that will support you. Whether it’s a friend or mental health professional, take care of you!   

Do the work.

Now this is something I’ve struggled with lately when it comes to working on things I’m passionate about outside of my 9 to 5. Sometimes it can be really hard to self-motivate. After a long day of work I just want to wind down and relax. But now is the time to grind. I'm really going to push myself to do more of the creative things I enjoy and to write more.  

Support each other.

Nothing makes me happier than supporting my friends' projects and businesses. We inspire each other -- we show up, promote, purchase products and services, give each other advice, cry, laugh, and the list goes on. Listen, when they win, I win and vice versa.

What are your goals for 2018? Write them down and speak those goals into existence, but most importantly, put in the work. 2018 I’m ready for you. #sheready

xoxo

Victoria

Midway Checkpoint

We’ve made it to June already! This year is flying by! It’s the halfway point of the year, so where are you on your goals? Have you reached any milestones? If not, it’s ok, you still have time. Let’s regroup. I’ve been staring at my vision board for the past 6 months and I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far, but I still have to push myself. Writing out my to-do lists and goals on a monthly, weekly and even day-to-day basis helps me plan out everything. I have sticky notes everywhere! I’ve also learned so much about myself the past 6 months. Here are a few tips that have helped me along the way I hope this encourages you to keep pushing.

You don’t need a latte everyday.

Yes I say this to myself everyday on my morning commute. I know, I know, it’s a difficult habit to break. If you’re spending $4 a day for a week that’s 20 bucks that could go toward your dream vacay or new shoes. Whatever your vice is, try to make an effort to cut back. Oh the struggle between shopping, travel, and saving!

Learn to say NO and be OK with it.

I know Summer ‘17 is upon us and #FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) has surely kicked in. But I try to be very intentional with my time nowadays and also who I spend that time with. In the midst of all of the day parties and summer getaways also take some of that free time to focus on your goals or a new activity, or to spend some time alone to unwind and meditate. Your purse will also thank you for it.

Make time.

Let’s face it, life is short. A lot of us get caught up in the busyness and the routines of our day-to-day lives, that we forget about pursuing the life we want and deserve. If we really want something different we have to put in that work and overcome our fears. That could involve some late nights/early mornings or taking a few risks, but at least we can say we tried and had fun doing it. I am so happy to be surrounded by such amazing friends living out their dreams, which is even more motivation for me. Whether it's starting a business or traveling the world (or both!), live your BEST life.

What keeps you motivated to pursue your goals?

xoxo

Victoria

It's the first week of January 2016 and in between breaks of checking hundreds of work emails, I've been doing some reflecting and I'm excited for what's ahead. One of my biggest highlights of 2015 was traveling to Dubai. This was my first international flight. I was one of hundreds of black millennials that took advantage of the Christmas 2015 flight deal to Dubai for less than $200. It was a great cultural experience in spite of the horrible customer service we received from the airline on the way home.  But this is just one of the many things I want to continue doing in 2016: be spontaneous and explore the unknown. I didn't do any other international trips last year so I've definitely had my eye on all of the flight deal sites for this year. In addition to traveling, I plan to focus on my career goals and begin budgeting and saving to become a homeowner. I also plan to take better care of my spiritual health. Self-care is so important. Life can get so busy and stressful that we forget to take the time out to breathe, live in the moment, and become aware of our surroundings. More meditation and rest for my soul is needed. Have you written out your goals for 2016? Be intentional and stick to it. :) 

xoxo,

Victoria

Living Beyond Fear in 2016

I recently finished reading the book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. I thought this was a great book to share with all of you as we go into the new year and set new goals for 2016. I hope the tips I learned from this book will inspire you and me to live beyond fear and actively utilize our creative energy to achieve our goals for the new year!

1. Have an affair with your passion.
   • Let's face it, some of us are lazy or make excuses. We treat our passion like an old, boring marriage. Some of us are still figuring out what our passion is. Let's light that fire again. Start by doing what you love and devoting yourself to that matter what, even if you have to sneak away in a corner for 15 minutes everyday. Discipline yourself.
2. "When it's for love, you will always do it anyhow."
   • We torture ourselves enough by doing things that we don't like. Life becomes mundane. Devoting more time to the things we do love would lead to more happiness. 
3. Don't stop when things get hard.
   • "Don't rush through the experiences and circumstances that have the most capacity to transform you." We are always in such a rush that we forget to appreciate the journey. As soon as things get too difficult we are ready to give up. Don't give up because this is usually right before something big is about to happen. Be patient and don't miss out on your blessing.
4. Trust yourself.
   • Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is to put our creative work out there for the world to see. We are so terrified of what people will think that we don't put anything out there. What if I am unsuccessful? What if no one likes me? No matter the outcome, just do it anyway. Regardless if you fail or succeed, at least you were happy doing something you love.

Check-In

Over half the year has past and I've been steadily staring at my vision board and revisiting my personal goals. My personal goal for 2015 is to "be bold and dare greatly." I've done a few things but there's sooo much more I want to do like more international travel and a career move. Finding balance has been elusive, but still a top goal. Sometimes it can be hard to stay motivated and it seems like there are never enough hours in a day. I came across a great article about How Successful People Work Less and Get More Done, and I realized I don't spend enough time working on my passions and spending the time to reflect, plan, AND execute my weekly goals. And yes there's a little bit of procrastination mixed in there too. There have been some ups and downs, new experiences, and even a new relationship, but I am looking forward to what's in store for the rest of 2015. What are some of your goals? Have you achieved any of them? How do you stay motivated? 

xoxo,

Victoria

Passion Breeds Purpose

Some days we need that extra push or a few words of wisdom to keep that drive going. Many things will get in the way to distract you, but stay inspired and no matter what do what you LOVE. Sometimes its hard to focus on our true passions because we get caught up in life and focus on materialistic pleasures. But those things won't satisfy you for long. I'm working on my next to last class of my MBA program, and it's becoming more difficult to focus as the end draws near. (I should be working on a paper, but I'm taking a few minutes to post some thoughts.) I've always wanted my MBA because I felt I needed one to become this great executive/CEO or entrepreneur. I know that my lessons will definitely help me in the workplace, but did I really need to rack up more student loans for a competitive advantage over my peers?  Some of the most successful entrepreneurs do not have an MBA. There are tons of people with multiple degrees that are barely surviving because the job economy is horrible. Oh and how about trying to find a job you love AND make enough to pay rent...does that even exist? I know it exists somewhere. Sometimes you have to struggle a little to get what you truly want. Even now I'm still a bit unsure of what I really want to do. I have a few ideas, so until I reach some grand breakthrough of my purpose, i'll do what I love. Volunteer and capture moments. They don't really go together, but i'm ok with that. The rest will come to me.

via aroundthewaycurls  “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well people can’t take their eyes off you.” -Maya Angelou