strength. love. joy.
It's my favorite season and we are now approaching the end of my favorite month. There are 2 more months left in this decade (wow!) and I'm feeling renewed and focused.
I just celebrated my 32nd birthday, and I always like to reflect on lessons learned and new things I've learned about myself this time of year.
Black Women are incredibly strong and connected.
Over the past two years my periods were becoming increasingly painful and heavy. I figured it was normal with my age or the birth control I was taking. It got to the point where I just couldn’t take the pain anymore and I was so embarrassed to even talk about how many tampons I was soaking through. After an ultrasound, I soon found out I had a fibroid. It wasn’t very big in size, but it was recommended that I get it removed. About 80 percent of black women will develop fibroids over their lifetime and are 2-3 times more likely to develop fibroids relative to white women. A million thoughts ran through my head including - would I still be able to have kids? Although this type of surgery, a hysteroscopic myomectomy, is pretty common I was still very worried. I talked with my mom about it and turns out she also had fibroids, but she didn’t have to get them removed. I finally talked to my friends about it and turns out a few other friends had also experienced issues with fibroids. Why are we so silent about our pain? As Black women we are connected in so many ways; we have to support each other and stop suffering in silence. Earlier this year, I proceeded with the surgery, which was minimally invasive, and I had a quick recovery. My periods started to get better after that. I’ve learned that you should never be afraid to tell your story, and vulnerability will set you free. The strength and endurance of Black women is unbelievable. Nothing can hold us down. We have the power to overcome anything that comes our way, and we don’t have to do it alone.
You will love again.
“Friends say you getting thick that’s just happy weight.” -Fabolous
Falling in love is such a roller coaster, and I never thought I would be crazy enough to fall in love again. I enjoy my space and my “me time.” (Yes - I’m an introvert!) And honestly I was just tired of wasting my time with dating apps and no-good men. The thought of being vulnerable again with someone new was the furthest thing from my mind. But it’s been a little over a year now that I took a chance on love. Me and bae are still going strong! I’m happy, I’m at peace, and I even gained a little happy weight. #thickthighssavelives I’m in a place of comfort where I still have the space to grow and evolve, and still be myself. I actually like having him in my space. LOL! It feels amazing to be in a healthy relationship and loved unconditionally in spite of my flaws. I’m so excited to be on this journey with someone I can truly trust and have fun with.
If you’re doubting you will love again remember that you are worthy and deserve to be loved and Queen Maya Angelou said it best:
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
It’s ok to feel joy.
I mean REALLY bask in joy.
According to Brene Brown, one of my favorite writers, “…the most vulnerable thing a human being can feel, according to research, isn't negative. It's arguably the most positive emotion you can feel: joy.”
This is surprisingly true. Sometimes when something really good happens in my life, I immediately feel the fragility of it and start thinking of worse-case scenarios. What if something bad happens? One way I try to combat these feelings is to practice gratitude daily. I just received two new journals, which have been helpful in writing down things that I’m grateful for. Life is too short to worry about the what-ifs. I want to fully experience joy and live every moment to the fullest.
So how are you feeling?
Are you on track to finish the year strong and accomplish your goals? There's still time left. It's never too late to start something new. Reach out for support if you need it. Let's challenge each other to finish what we've started and to savor every moment.