My Thanksgiving

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! The 4 day weekend was just what I needed. I caught up with family and friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. I'm so blessed and thankful for everything that I have experienced this year and the wonderful people I get to share those memories with. I sipped moonshine, did a little cooking, and ate everything to my heart's content…even hog chitlins. Ha! I'll always be a country girl at heart. xoxo








What does your presence do to a room?

I'm definitely not the life of party. I tend to work the background.  I love playing the hostess and coming up with themed house gatherings, and trying recipes from Pinterest. I'm the planner.  I want to make sure everything is perfect for my guests and that everyone has a great time. I'll even cut a rug with you! I hate being at the center of attention, but I do hope that others can feel my confident energy as I walk into the room. I've learned that when I don't smile others may think i'm mad or uninterested so adding a little smile makes me more approachable. Just smile and walk. Say hello. :)

Are you a leader or a follower? What makes you either/or?

I am both a leader and a follower. But recently more of a follower, seeking approval and acceptance from others. Pleasing everyone but myself. I get so lost in other's opinions and reactions I forget to value my own… I'm not so sure why people aim to please each other so much. I guess we all want to be liked. Then we lose ourselves in the process, and it really gets exhausting.  However, I'm more of a leader in my professional life than in my personal one. I've been taking on more roles and responsibilities at work, and I'm learning to be more assertive in my approach to getting things done.  But I've been learning that you really shouldn't care so much about the opinions of others. We suffer more from just THINKING about what someone's going to say or think before they even have a chance to react. I'm learning to trust my instincts more, and I'm living my life out loud, leading the way.

Think of the people who’ve made it possible for you to live in the world you live in today. In terms of the fight for equality and fairness, are you adding or taking away from that legacy? Expound.

I would definitely say I'm adding to that legacy. I choose to take advantage of the rights that my ancestors fought for, and everyday I strive to be more politically and socially aware. I've never been a very opinionated person, but there are a few things that I feel very passionate about, and I'd like to be able to tell my children and grandchildren that I saw a problem in the community and I solved it. As I've said in previous posts starting a non-profit is a big dream of mine. I want to be able to educate minority women in all areas of life. The Talented Tenth can't sit around reaping all of the benefits while our brothers and sisters are still struggling to survive.






Right now I am learning…?

I feel like I'm always learning something. As I should be.

The best part of friendship or a relationship is the gift of oneself. So I am learning to be more transparent so that others can see all of me. Sometimes I can be a mystery, even to my close circle.

When someone shows me who they are, believe it. And then decide if I want to accept them in my life. They won't change and I won't try to change them. Some can change on their own, but most can't, and if I want them in my life, I have to be ok with it by accepting their gifts and their flaws.

I can't control everything, and I'm not perfect. But I have the ability to recognize my mistakes and take responsibility for them. The blame game gets old, and only I can control what I allow in my life. And I can't change who I am to make others comfortable.

Easier said than done.

"People can cry much easier than they can change." -James Baldwin






What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? How has it shaped you?

Witnessing the death of my grandparents has shaped my life tremendously. I was only about 9 watching my grandmother in the ICU, and I knew she would wake up, she had to. But she didn't and I didn't understand why. Why couldn't I save her? Less than a year later my grandmother's friend who is the only grandfather I've ever known, passed as well. I knew it was from a broken heart. He was fine before. I watched the paramedics do CPR and I kept thinking he's going to wake up, God surely can't take the both of you away right now. But he didn't wake up. And once again I'm pondering in my head why couldn't I save him? What did I do wrong that God had to take them both away? These situations has led to my fear of death and my desire to be in control and plan every situation in my life. The obsessive nature to "save" everyone around me from whatever issue they may be going through. I'm still learning not to blame myself for things I have no control over. I'm enjoying life even though fear still creeps its evil head in the background. Life goes on...and so do I.

Write a letter to the person who has had the biggest impact on your life?

Dear Granny,

I was only 9 when you left this earth, but I still remember you just like it was yesterday. Words can't describe how much I miss you. I can still see your sepia brown skin, your silver curls, and your huge smile. Your love was unconditional and we could do no wrong in your eyes. Me and my little brother were always on some kind of adventure in your yard under that big tree, running through the garden barefoot, or just going for a walk to the creek. I learned how to cook my first meal in that old house.  You lived a simple life. You didn't have running water or a bathroom, and at that age it didn't bother me. My dad always wanted to move you into a new a house, but you were just fine with staying in that old house. As I grew older I knew there was so much more the world had to offer beyond that old house, but I've always remained humble in my journey. I wish you were here, but I know you are watching. Everything I do now, I do for you; creating a better life for myself and others. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter how big or new your house is; it's not a home without love and happiness. Those things can't be bought. So my true reward is making you proud and making sure that no matter what I'm doing, it makes me happy.