What is love?
Today as I was strolling through the aisles of Home Goods picking up more random houseware items that I don’t need, two students approached me. My first thought was, "Please don't ask me to buy or sign up for anything." But they told me they were working on a project and asked me, "How do you define love?" I didn't ask what kind of project it was for, but my first response was, "Wow. You can't define love. There's just no way. There are so many forms of love, so many feelings. " For me, trying to define it would almost diminish its meaning. So then they asked, "Well what do you think about when you think about love?" So maybe this was a better way to phrase the question. Surprisingly, the first three words that I blurted out were: butterflies, peace, and vulnerability. Of course there are a million other words I could add this to this list, but these were the first three that came to mind at the moment, and they weren't in any type of order. I later thought to myself why these three things? Here's what I came up with.
Butterflies
Remember the first time you fell in love? The very thought of this person gave you this weird but incredible feeling: butterflies. This feeling of nervousness mixed with excitement is so rare. Although I know that some people may think that feeling butterflies is a little cliche or unrealistic nowadays. I still believe in butterflies and genuine soul connections.
Peace
God is peace. God is love. I think of agape love, the highest form of love, the unconditional, sacrificial love that God shows for us all. And this verse also comes to mind -- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
In addition to this form of spiritual peace, isn't it amazing when we find peace within ourselves and within our other relationships? There's this sense of peace just from being connected to a particular person. Their calm, positive energy can be contagious. Chaos and anger is something I try to avoid, and can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. So I try to be mindful of the energy I create and receive.
As I stay true to my mantra of being intentional, I am at peace with being single. I'm reclaiming my time! I choose the company I keep wisely and I continue to do the things I love to do. Dating just gets annoying sometimes. But I've learned so much about myself during this phase of my life and I'm still learning. Self-love and discovery is an amazing thing.
Vulnerability
To love and to be loved comes with an extraordinary amount of vulnerability. Meeting someone that you can be your authentic, complete self around is a wonderful feeling, so I've always been a strong proponent of building relationships deeply rooted in friendship. Our friends sometimes know us better than we know ourselves. These are the people that know our deepest desires, our quirky dance moves, our greatest fears, and all of our uniquely crazy habits.
But sometimes it can be hard to be vulnerable, and to just be our amazing, magical selves. Betrayal, insecurities, anxiety, fear, etc. can all play a part in keeping people at bay. I’ve met people that didn’t peel back their layers until much later and they were a completely different person from when I first met them. I always like to refer to one of my favorite quotes, by one of my favorite authors as motivation that I deserve love and with that comes vulnerability.
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
To love and to be loved takes work, and that could involve work on ourselves, not just the other person.
So as you can see love can get pretty complicated and gives us all sorts of feels. I would never be able to give a concise definition. What words come to mind when you think about love?
And if you haven't been told today already, know that you are loved.
xoxo
Victoria