Courage
The lies you tell yourself hurt the most so do not sacrifice your destiny to make someone else emotionally happy. Accept that they are who they are and you are who you are. Be completely honest with yourself, and never allow desperation for a dream make you settle on a path that God has not destined for you. We easily become comfortable living in medicority because it takes courage to live a phenomenal life. You are the determining factor of your own happiness. Be strong and courageous.