Female, Anxious, and Black

Anxiety is love's greatest killer. -Anais Nin

My first anxiety attack happened in August of this year. I had shortness of breath, heart palpitations, tingling in my legs and head, and I just knew I was having a massive heart attack, stroke, or something of that nature. The first vision that came to my mind was watching my grandfather lying dead on the floor because his heart stopped. I just knew the same thing was happening to me. I demanded to be taken to the nearest hospital. My heart raced faster and I couldn't think straight. It was cloudy and rainy. Was this the end? After hundreds of tests, it was only a panic attack and I wasn't dying. I'm perfectly healthy.  Even after the ER's diagnosis, I still felt the need to visit my primary care doctor the next day. She told me everything was fine. Naturally I've always been the over reactor at every little ache or twitch of pain, diagnosing myself, and taking different  medications to cure my "ailments", and eventually becoming obsessed with personal safety and health. Living next to the fire department and up the street from the hospital brought some calmness to my life, but not enough. Everyday I go through my routine of checking the locks, making sure every appliance is turned off or unplugged. Crazy, right?

What was happening to me? I'm a successful, educated, beautiful, black woman, but slowly I felt my world falling apart as my friends began telling me I was worrying about things too much. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is "persistent, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things."  African-American women have the highest incidence of anxiety and some of us are still thinking you can pray it away and wait for God to heal you. We have been trained to stay strong and suffer in silence. Speaking about these issues has been stigmatized in the Black community, and viewed as a weakness. But what happens after you've waited and nothing has changed? And STILL worrying? Faith without work is dead.  I decided to take a proactive approach by trying holistic solutions such as meditation. Talking to someone can make a huge difference. If you are feeling anxiety symptoms, talk to a professional that can provide the best solution for you. Speak your truth and let the healing begin, you will soon find peace! 

Symptoms of Anxiety Disorder:

• Frequent worry 
• Insomnia
• Muscle aches, tingling
• Racing heartbeat
• Irritability
• Jaw pain from clenching your teeth
• Fatigue